For those of you who struggle
Musical beds: My experience with co-sleeping and bed sharing
Like many first time parents, I came to be a co-sleeper out of necessity. The physical toll of sleep deprivation was a shocking revelation of the parenting experience. You can never be prepared for the lack of sleep, especially for those of us who have been blessed with the 'non-sleepers'.
Image courtesy of the Baby Sleep Information Image Source Archive The C shape position is shown here
I quickly realized that when Ben and I were sleeping side by side we both slept for longer periods and were cozy and warm together. Mark often snapped photos of the two of us mimicking the same sleeping positions (unfortunately I can’t easily access those photos to share with you, oh darn!).
Ben would start every sleep in his crib but after the first or second feeding through the night we would be back in my bed together to catch some sleep. Eventually, I gave up trying to keep us separated and was happy to have this little creature that I loved taking up residence beside me. My husband was also a reluctant co-sleeper, and yet, we all managed to adapt to this new lifestyle.
Over the years our sweet babe spent less time sleeping with us and more time sleeping alone. Eventually our middle of the night encounters spread out and he has become, over time, what one would describe as a good sleeper. However, tonight as he went to bed he said what all babies must feel, but can't express : "Mommy, when I sleep beside you, I feel safe." My response was "Of course you do! That is why I am the mom and you are the kid". We cuddled up in his bed for the last of his bedtime snuggles and soon he was off to sleep.
Terms/Definitions:
Family bed sharing: Parents who sleep in the same bed with their child
Rooming in: Parents and child have their own separate beds, but baby is typically within arm reach. Families may have a side-car attachment or a mattress/crib/playpen in their room.
Resources on co-sleeping/room sharing:
Note: Remember bed-sharing is associated with an increased chance of SIDS or accidents if you have taken drugs or alcohol, are a smoker, or have a premature baby. Check out these resources to help make sleep safer:
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Updated March 2022
Originally posted April 2013