Mama Needs Sleep!
How to get more sleep when you have a baby/toddler
“Sleep when the baby sleeps”
The most commonly shared advice to parents of young babes everywhere
We often have lively discussions in our classes about all the things that affect us in parenting and beyond, but no matter what, we always seem to circle back to the topic of sleep. Often the questions and discussions are about how to get the baby to sleep, but this week the topic came up when we posted the question “What was the least helpful piece of advice you received after baby arrived?” Hands down the most common response (both in class and on our Social Media chats ) was “ Sleep when the baby is sleeping”. Good advice, but the logistics is often the biggest hurdle.
As a childbirth educator I often explain HOW to prepare & prioritize sleep with a new baby in our last week of class. I ask people to record the minimum number of hours of sleep they need to feel like a functioning human. Then they share that answer with their partner. The answers vary, but an average of 7 hours is typical. Next I explain that a newborn baby will have frequent wakeful periods, especially through the night. I invite parents to approach sleep with a new mindset and consider opening a “Sleep Account” where they make small deposits towards their sleep number, just like making deposits towards a bank account. This helps to normalize newborn behaviour and encourages each person achieves their minimum hours of sleep. I remind them that they don’t get UP and out of bed to start their day until they hit their number. By stringing chunks of sleep together over a 24 hour period for the first 2-4 weeks after baby arrives most people report that they are better able to cope with the demands of early parenting.
If you have just had a baby, we strongly encourage you to find a way to follow this as a best practice. You and your baby have just gone through a really tiring and challenging physical event. You both need time to recover and establish your rhythm as you get to know each other. We also know that adequate sleep helps to promote healing. During the early days and weeks we recommend limiting visitors, re-assigning housekeeping tasks, or outsourcing them all together so that both parents can rest and enjoy the time with their new baby.
This advice is often easier for people to do when support and partners are home. So what do you do once partners are back to work full time and daytime naps are not a realistic option?
Here are some tips & strategies that you can follow to help keep you more rested beyond the newborn stage. We recognize that naps are harder to squeeze in as baby grows OR you have more than one baby, so we hope that the following suggestions below might be helpful to you!
Be consistent with your own bedtime. Any sleep consultant I have ever met ALWAYS recommends a consistent (and early) bed time for baby, the same goes for you! Try to avoid stressful tasks a few hours before bed (now is not the time to bring up that “thing” that is driving you crazy). Avoid heavy meals and no caffeine 6 hours before bedtime. It may take a few weeks to establish a new habit of an earlier bedtime, but if you do it, you will be setting yourself up for sleep success.
Set the mood. This includes ensuring the room is dark enough to sleep in, or invest in a sleep mask. Avoid blue screens before bed (no last minute checks of Social Media). Turn the alarm clocks/monitors away from your bed to avoid the glow.
Establish your own bedtime ritual. Just like a baby, we like routine, structure and consistency. Maybe you will choose to read before you doze off. Other’s prefer a soak in a tub to unwind. The use of essential oils is well documented and can help set the tone in your space in your space to set the tone (Lavender is known for its ability to assist with relaxation and rest) meditate or do some gentle stretches and breathing exercises to unwind.
Move your body If you are not exercising regularly, consider adding in some walks or another form of physical activity into your week. When you challenge your body physically it does help to tire you out and allow for deeper sleep. Try to get outside for a brisk walk in the fresh air most days of the week.
If you are not seeing an improvement in your sleep patterns after incorporating some of these new behaviours, it might be worthwhile to speak with your health care provider as it may be an indication of an underlying health issue (thyroid or hormonal imbalance, postpartum depression, postpartum insomnia).